#I’m not allowed to ever spend my birthday not alone

[larapaulussen]

[strawbeerossi]

Competition

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: You’re the new genius on campus. Spencer doesn’t like that one bit. Whenever there is a poker competition for charity held by the FBI, it only makes sense that you are both coming for each other’s necks.

Content/Warnings: Snarky!Spencer and snarky!reader, gambling, two characters are just alike so they hate each other trope, sex in a bathroom, finger sucking, unprotected sex, creampie.

I have no knowledge on poker. Sorry 😭

Word Count: 2.3K

Anon Request: You don’t have to do this but it’s my birthday on sunday (5th Nov) and i was wondering if you could do a Spencer one-shot. Maybe a little enemies to lovers sitch. smutty ofc 😉😉😉😉

Navigation || Criminal Minds Masterlist || Request

Happy birthday Anon 😘🎂

🏷️ @kr-1-sta @iluvreid @nervousmoongiver @multifandom-on-the-side @ferrjulie @lov1ngreid @sobbingcryingattsizzles @doriantomybasil @thegluesong @rosiehale23 @queermaxwooo @rubyatarah @smallgayandnotokay @Princesskuzimu

Spencer wasn’t a jealous guy by any means, nor was he the type to be so self absorbed that he could care about someone’s opinion of him changing. As cocky as it sounded, he knew that he was going to always be the person on the team with the most knowledge on any given subject. That was until you joined the team.

You rivalled him in the academic department, having an IQ of 187. You didn’t have the eidetic memory though, so Spencer liked to think he could one up you in that department. You might have been good with any form of maths or science, however you didn’t hold a candle to the amount of vast knowledge that he carried in his memory alone.

Your first day on the team determined your relationship, you getting angry at the way he would so quickly talk over you when a question was being asked. You came into this job excited, wanting to spend time with the whole group that seemed so close knit from an outside perspective. Instead, you were met with an immature imbecile who really thought you’d allow him to speak over you.

As weeks turned into months, things didn’t seem to change. You wouldn’t dare admit it but it did upset you just a tiny bit that he never actually gave you a chance. Ever since you spouted off your first contribution to a briefing, it was like he had to upstage you. Instead of discussing things like mature adults however, you both gave each other the most childish treatment. In your mind, he deserved it. He foolishly believed he was better than you for what reason? Was it because he was threatened that a woman came in to take over his genius position? Was he jealous of all the attention the team paid you without an eye roll, the opposite of what they did for him? You’d never know.

Whenever there was a poker competition that was brought up by the director of the FBI, it was a silly idea to want to gamble all night. Even for charity, you would rather just donate to the cause and go home to read a good book and have a tall glass of red wine. “Are you going to participate in the big game?” You had asked as you leaned against the counter in the kitchenette, a cup of coffee in your hand as you were talking with Penelope, Derek and Emily. “I might go just to support the charity. Nobody is gonna win whenever Reid is there. That guy is..” Penelope whistled while sipping from her own mug. “What do you mean? Him?” Derek was chuckling at your disbelief. “Poker is just a big math equation to him. He grew up in Vegas and can count cards. Nobody stands a chance against him. Not even you, mama.”

The words had you frowning. “I think I could kick his ass with no problem.” Emily was scoffing at your confidence. “Sure you will. I’m telling you, this isn’t something you wanna get into with him. Especially when betting is involved. He’s gonna get you, every single time.” You weren’t buying that. There was no way that these abilities couldn’t be outsmarted. Spencer wasn’t as smart as he thought he was. You were going to prove that.

When the day finally came along, you were paying for your ticket at the door before heading inside the large venue the FBI director had rented out, mainly to make sure that it was possible to fit all the agents and other people who purchased tickets for the poker tournament. You’d worn a black dress for the event, wanting to use your prized assets (wink) to take care of the men who were easy to distract. You’d made it to one of the many tables set up and placed your clutch beside you on the table, the chips you’d already purchased being stacked up in front of you while you waited for the table to fill.

Spencer had seen you the minute he came in and he knew where he needed to be for the night. Contrary to popular belief, he didn’t completely hate your guts. He always thought he would’ve liked you, however with you puffing out your chest and trying to take over his position on the team, he wouldn’t just lay down and take it. He fought back, anyone would. “Good evening.” He greeted you, making your eyes roll at his formality. “Hello, Reid.” You spoke in a monotone voice while resting your chin against the palm of your hand. You were just happy he willingly signed himself up for defeat whenever he sat beside you. This was a war that you intended to win.

Derek and Emily were funnily enough the two that day at the same table in order to get your game kicked off. As the cards were being dealt, you were confident. A flush. That’s not so bad. Luck was on your side, all you had to do was have a good poker face. As your eyes darted around the table, you were only raising an eyebrow once you made it to Spencer. He was staring at you so hard that you felt like he could see right through you. He was trying to read you. Another reason to keep a straight face as you return the questioning stares. “I’ll raise 20.” Spencer spoke, words slow and calculated as he tossed his chips in the middle of the table. “I’m folding.” Emily huffed, cards being put down on the table as she brought a hand to rub her face from frustration. “I’m calling.” You hummed while glancing over at Derek, who’d done the same.

With a straight from Derek, a flush from you, and a fucking royal flush from Spencer, you could feel your eye twitching. There was no way. He looked as cocky as ever, a smirk on his face as he was leaning over to get the chips. “Shall we go for another game?” He asked, making Emily nudge your side. “I told you.” She hissed. Maybe she was right. No! No, she’s not. You’re gonna do this even if it’s the last thing you do.

As the games continued, the tension between you and Spencer had grown much stronger from just how competitive you were being with one another. He was single handedly leaving you with nothing every play so far, causing you to run low on chips.

It was the last game whenever you had enough, pushing every chip in the middle of the table. “Fuck you, I’m all in.” You frowned, Derek and Emily pushing their own chips in just to end this whole thing sooner rather than later. “All in? That’s so foolish.” Spencer scoffed, however it didn’t stop him from adding his massive collection of poker chips to the pot. “I think you should’ve learned by now that I’m going to take this home.” He said, his tone cocky as he was looking over the new cards that were being passed around the table.

“I just wanna get another drink.” Emily muttered her own commentary to Derek, who nodded in agreement. “I know exactly what you mean.” He grumbled in return. This game had lost the fun nature of it whenever you and Spencer were too focused on one-upping one another.

You had the last laugh though, the look on Spencer’s face the moment that he realized you had a straight flush when he only had one pair was something you wanted photographed and framed. “Well. I don’t mean to brag Dr. Reid, but I just beat the best card counter in Vegas!” You smirked, leaning over the table to use your arms to scoop the chips close. Now, the way you leaned over the table gave a nice, tasteful view of your breasts threatening to spill over the neckline of your dress. “And that’s the game. Sorry.” You hummed, watching the way Spencer stared at you, a fire behind his eyes as he glared at you. “You got lucky! That’s all. You really think you can beat me when I’m not at my best?”

“That’s all the time, Spencer. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have chips to redeem.” You smirk, stacking them on the little tray before heading off. Which after you’d redeemed your winnings, you were walking off to the bathrooms. Spencer was still bitter, last you seen of him was him storming off to go god knows where. Whenever you had finished doing your business and you were washing your hands, your eyes were glancing up when the door was being pushed open. Whenever you saw the same agent who was still looking at you like he wanted to ring your throat, you couldn’t help but snort out a laugh. “This is the woman’s bathroom, Reid. What are you? A pervert?” You asked, staring over at him with amusement.

Although amusement turned to confusion when he was turning the lock on the door. “You know. I’m tired of your problem with me. You really think you’re better than me?” Spencer asked, walking closer. “Is that really a question?” You asked. Every ounce of cockiness was gone though whenever he had you trapped against the counter of the bathroom. “You really do. I think you need to be humbled. Nobody likes a cocky brat.” He huffed, making you scoff. “What are you gonna do? Huh? Gonna lecture me with your useless and boring facts like you always do? If anyone needs to be humbled, it’s you.” You seethed.

What Spencer did next caught you by surprise. The feeling of your teeth clashing together was felt immediately after as he was slamming his lips into yours. It wasn’t a soft ‘ease your way in’ kind of kiss. No. This was an angry ‘you need to learn a lesson’ kiss. You were dumbfounded. It didn’t stop you from returning the kiss that was dripping with rage and desire, your arms around his shoulders as your body leaned into his frame. “Always thing you’re better than me.” He murmured against your lips, his hands moving from your hips to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze as he was gently lifting you up to sit you on the counter. His lips were pulling from yours as he was sliding his hands up the black dress you wore tonight, his hands finding their way to your panties. Instead of taking them off though, your eyes were widening when you heard the sound of fabric tearing. “What the fuck?!” The words were in a high pitched squeak, Spencer shrugging as he was getting the ruined underwear. “You don’t need them. You like the attention anyway. I’m sure you’d like to bend over a table and show the whole place your pussy anyway.” He murmured, hand already working on his belt.

You shouldn’t have been as wet as you were. This was Spencer. Annoying, rambling, stupidly smart Spencer. The same guy who talked over you, who treated you like you weren’t a valued team member. Yet here you were, sitting on a bathroom counter at a convention center while the same man you despised was pulling his hard cock out of his slacks. “Who knows, maybe this will calm you down. In fact, I think it’ll get all that pent up anger and frustration out, I’m sure.” His tone was condescending, much different than you’d expect from the sweet Spencer Reid persona that he carried.

“Shut the fuck up.” You spat, making the male shake his head. “See? Brat.” He murmured, now pushing your thighs apart while guiding the leaking tip of his shaft to your entrance. “Let’s teach you a lesson.” One of your hands was gripping onto his shoulder, the other clutching the marble countertop as you let your head lean against the mirror in the bathroom the minute his cock was sinking inside of you. “F-fuck.”

“Who knew that this would shut you up?” He asked with a smirk, his eyebrow raising. “Maybe I should’ve done this sooner. Think you secretly love the idea of me fucking you like this. Bet it’s all you’ve ever dreamed of.” He continued to taunt, rendering you speechless for the first time ever. As he fucked into your pussy, his hand was ultimately covering your mouth from your loud moans. “As much as I’d love for everyone to know that I’m doing this, I don’t think we need to alert the whole building.” He mumbled through clenched teeth, ultimately shoving two fingers in your mouth in order to muffle everything without having to completely cover half of your face.

“I’m gonna cum soon.” He warned, knowing that just by the feeling of your inner walls spasming and clenching tight around him, you weren’t far behind. “Fuck. What if I fill you up with my cum? Get you pregnant? Then I could have the satisfaction of knowing that you’re never gonna get rid of me. Gonna have my child inside of you, keeping a piece of me right there with you.” His words had your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you let your legs tighten around his waist from his sloppy thrusts. With a rush of white making your body run hot, you were clutching his shoulder as you’d reached your orgasm, the creamy arousal coating his cock as he was giving a few more thrusts before the gush of hot cum was painting your insides.

You were both flushed, beads of sweat on your skin as you stared at one another. Spencer was gently pulling his fingers from your mouth while brushing his hair back with one hand. “Can you stop trying to compete with me now?! I’m so tired of this.” He grumbled, making you scoff weakly as you were closing your eyes to help come down from your post orgasmic high.

“Not if you’re gonna fuck me like that every time I do it. I think we should go play another game.”

[literaryavenger]

You're Still My Sunshine

Summary: A year later, a lot has changed.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Grief. Fluff. No mentions of Y/N.

Word Count: 750

A/N: This is just a little drabble to continue You Were My Sunshine, hope ya like it.

Masterlist | Part 1

“Doll…” He says quietly while cupping your face with his free hand as he sees you holding back tears. “It’s okay to be vulnerable in front of the people you care about. You taught me that.”

His gentle words, the way he softly strokes your cheek and the way he’s looking at you so lovingly, it’s all too much for you and can’t hold back your tears anymore.

With a broken sob, you bury your face in Bucky’s chest and hug him tightly, clinging to him while he wraps his arms around you and hugs you just as tight, kissing the top of your head before nuzzling his face against your hair.

In this moment, while holding you in his arms, Bucky realizes it’s not like you don’t feel like you belong with the Avengers.

This is just something you feel like you have to go through on your own because you’ve always had to.

And he’ll be damned if he lets you go through it alone ever again.

A year later

“Hi, mom.” You kneel down in front of the grave, placing down the bouquet of blue roses.

You look around the cemetery for a moment, if anything just out of habit to make sure there’s no danger, but you’re alone.

“Happy birthday.” You look back at the grave, cleaning it a little by brushing off the weeds on it.

“Another year, huh?” You say quietly. “A lot happened… And I’m not sure how we got here, but…”

Before you can say anything else, you feel a hand on your shoulder but you don’t bother turning around.

“I’m sorry, baby, it took me a little to find the candle.” Bucky’s voice rings in your ear as he kneels down beside you.

You look at your boyfriend, smiling at him as he lights the candle on the cupcake and passes it to you. 

Like usual, you look at it for a moment before you blow it out and you can’t help the tear that rolls down your cheek, except this time Bucky’s there to promptly wipe it away.

You spend the next few hours there, the both of you talking to the tombstone and to each other while Bucky holds you and wipes your tears away.

When you’re back at the Compound, the team is gathered around the living room watching a movie.

“I still can’t believe Elsa is the only one you allow to know about your special day.” You roll your eyes at Tony’s nickname for Bucky while the team snickers.

“Actually,” You start while you and Bucky sit down on the couch next to Steve. “I… I’m ready to tell you guys.” 

You’re a little hesitant, but for the past year you and Bucky have talked about it a lot, since you started dating you’ve opened up to him in a way he didn’t even know was possible considering you were already the most open person Bucky’s ever met.

And it felt good, you thought to yourself, and you decided last night you were ready to open up to the rest of your family too.

So you tell them everything, every little detail of the things you do, explaining why you do them because they were your mom’s favorite things. They’re understanding, not loving that you went through all that on your own, but they respect your choice and were glad you now allowed Bucky to be there for you. And, with some more grumbling from Tony, they accept that you aren’t ready to have them all there with you yet.

But that doesn’t mean they couldn’t do anything for you…

Another year later

You almost don’t recognize the grave, having to double check the tombstone to make sure it’s the right one.

And it is, only it’s full of flowers, teddy bears, papers and Avengers action figures for some reason. 

You’re as confused as Bucky when the two of you kneel down and you reach for one of the papers and you start chuckling when you see it’s a message from Tony, to you. It’s clear that he wrote it to make you laugh, full of sarcasm and jokes, and Bucky’s glad to see it’s working.

You read all the notes one by one, all from the team to you, between tears and chuckles, and you can’t be more grateful to have found this family.

You almost forget that this year you have big news, the engagement ring sitting on your finger shining with the sunlight.

I have a lot of things to tell you, mama, you think to yourself while absentmindedly stroking your stomach, where you found out just yesterday your very own little ray of sunshine is growing.

Yes, things are definitely getting better.

[queenofmistresses]

Destiny

A/N this is the longest fic I have written in a longg time! I really hope you enjoy this! I would love any feedback. If you want any short fics based in this universe I would love to do that!! thank you!!

Summary: Reader and Feyd were friends from a young age until she went away to be trained, now she has been chosen to continue his line

My father was a very powerful man, the head of a very powerful house. He was close friends with the Baron and our houses are firm allies, this meant that from a young age I knew the Baron’s nephews and was forced to spend time with them during meetings and diplomatic events. 

Feyd and I are the same age and we got along quite well, having met when we were merely toddlers. The Baron’s eldest nephew, Rabban, was older and cruel. For as long as I can remember he was nasty, pulling on my hair and pushing me over, laughing at my misery. He would call me names and make attempts to humiliate me, but Feyd always enjoyed playing knights and was determined to defend me to his brother, standing in between us and attempting to push Rabban over in retaliation. 

When we were 7, Feyd told me that his uncle had named him as the na-baron, something he was incredibly proud and excited for. He was determined to be the best Baron there had ever been. When he asked if I was going to be the next leader of my house I knew even then that it would not be possible, I imagined I was to be married off to some lord that I hardly knew. Feyd said he would marry me instead so we could be friends forever, it sounded like a much better idea than my parents. 

Feyd was 9 when he killed his mother. When the Baron forced him to kill his mother, telling him he could never be a good leader if he allowed himself to be weak, telling him it was a test to see if he was worthy of his title. When I heard the news from my mother it shocked me. He loved his mother, and he had always been so kind. It made me wary of him the next time I saw him months later, scared. But when we were finally left alone by my parents and the Baron, I asked him why he did it, prompting him to break down and sob in my small arms about how he missed her and had no choice. How she reassured him it was okay as he did it, that she forgave him. I never saw him cry like that again. 

Every visit after that I could see the changes taking place due to the Baron’s cruelty. I saw him hiding bruises and watched as his soft shell became hard as stone as he started finally being able to take his brother in a fight and even began enjoying the fights in a strange way. 

The last time I saw him I was 11, my birthday just before I left to be trained with the Bene Gesserit, as the reverend mother had decided for my parents. I hadn’t been allowed to tell him that I was leaving, especially not why I was leaving, but I had known and had almost wept when he left in the evening. Despite his almost psychotic behaviour, we were still friends and he still defended me from the cruelties surrounding me when he could, including ones he was not aware of at the time.

Now I’m watching him walk into the arena at his coming of age event. I have not spoken to him since I left my home, but my dedication to my training has allowed me to keep updated on his house as I have had to remain informed on current politics and states of affairs. The reverend mother informed me early in my training that I showed a lot of potential in my role in the Bene Gesserit, telling me that if I continued to stay ahead of my studies then I could be chosen for a more important destiny than merely continuing a ‘pointless lord’s line’. That was motivation enough for me to fully invest in learning the Bene Gesserit ways and excelling in my training. I hadn’t expected this to be the destiny she chose, but truthfully I couldn’t help but feel honoured to be chosen for this. 

Despite Jessica’s attempts to ruin the plans of the Bene Gesserit, the reverend mother insisted that Paul Atreides would be taken care of, that my child would be the Kwisatz Haderach. The reverend mother knew of my old friendship with Feyd but she reassured me that she knew I would not let something like that distract from my true mission. 

Seeing Feyd having such an influence on the crowd and begin fighting the prisoners is a thrill in a sick way. He had changed. I knew that would be the case, the rumours surrounding how he had become a brutal and merciless fighter over the years, hearing how his behaviour had become ever more psychotic had made me feel sorry for him at first. The looks that I got from my fellow sisters when the news spread that I would be the one to test him and secure the bloodline, they felt sorry for me. Truthfully, it gave me a power rush. Knowing I was trusted with such an important task, knowing it would be my child with such a strong destiny. 

His performance in the arena is impressive. A small part of me worries when one of the prisoners is clearly not drugged, glancing over at the Baron to see his sinister smile, I couldn’t help but be angry as I knew this must be another sick ‘test’ of his. Instead, I am proud when he wins the battle, an honourable fight where I could easily see the skills he has learnt during my absence. 

It was not hard to find him after the events, I had heard him fighting with his uncle, and heard his uncle’s promise to give him the empire. I stayed out of sight until he had wandered much further away from his uncle’s chambers before allowing myself to be heard by him. It doesn’t take long before he stops walking and I slow my movements down. “Are you lost, witch?” He practically snarls without turning around. 

I can’t help but chuckle, “I was expecting a warmer welcome from you, Feyd.” I stop walking a couple steps away from him and watch him spin around to face me. His eyes wide for a short moment before his face went hard, hiding any emotions. He takes 2 strides towards me and brings a knife up to my throat, I feel his breath warm against my face. I don’t hesitate to meet his eyes, having expected this reaction. “Is this any way to greet an old friend?” 

“We are not children any more. Things have changed since we last saw each other. Clearly that is not exclusive to me.” His eyes trail over my outfit, a clear sign of my involvement in the Bene Gesserit. He seems incredibly unhappy. “Why are you here?” The press of his blade against my neck loosens slightly. 

I hum slightly before pulling away from his grasp and walking away from him, towards the guest room I am staying in. “Now where are you going?” He sounds as exasperated as he used to when we were children and I’d drag him around my home. 

“To my guest rooms.” I keep walking and feel him follow me as I sit on a hard surface and he approaches me. “Kneel.” I use the voice on him and he slowly lowers himself down in front of me. I bring the box level with his hands, and bring the Gom Jabbar to his neck. He meets my eyes as he places his hand inside the box. 

I’m impressed by his lack of reaction, he doesn’t break eye contact with me for a moment. When the test is over I remove Gom Jabbar from threatening him and pull the box away from his hand. “You’ve passed the test.” I keep my voice steady and let my eyes trail down his body. I am surprised as I see an unmistakable bulge in his trousers. I bring my eyes up to meet his eyes again, seeing how heavy they seem to be now. 

I lean down slightly and lift his chin with my hands. I had been prepared to need to convince him to bed me, apparently the pain did that for me. He watches me as I bring my lips close to his, not quite meeting them yet. His breathing stops for a moment, and I take that moment to press my lips firmly against his. He kisses me back, turning it heavy and groaning into my mouth. The kiss turns deeper and presses himself into me. I feel his hands trail up my legs and he grips onto my thighs. He drags my body into him and wraps my legs around his waist, before standing up and bringing me with him with practised ease.

His mouth trails away from mine, kissing along my jaw and down my neck as he moves to the bed, lying me down beneath him. He pulls back for a short moment, holding one of my legs to ensure they stay wrapped around him, and he removes his shirt before swiftly returning to kiss me. 

I bring my hands to gently trail along his back, feeling every movement as he starts to undress me. His lips trail lower as he reveals more skin. His kisses become rougher and he starts sucking on my skin, making my back arch into him and I dig my nails into his back. He groans in response, licking on the spot before moving to form marks all along my collarbones. “Again,” he mutters out as he moves to a new spot. I take a moment to register what he’s said, and another moment to realise what he means. I drag my nails up his back again, gentler than before. I hear him breathe out a deep sigh as he stops his attack on me, resting his forehead against me. “Harder,” he says, then in a quieter voice, “please.” 

I feel an excited pit in my stomach form as he says it, and I let my nails dig further into his skin, dragging it up his back. He lets out another groan and I bring one of my hands close to my face and see the small flecks of blood on the tips of my nails. I can feel that Feyd has become more desperate as he practically tears the clothes off of me, continuing marking down my body as I slowly continue to scratch his back. I enjoy seeing the marks I left as he trails further down between my legs, perhaps too much. 

The whole thing is a blur in my head as we lie in the bed, panting and staring at the ceiling. Honestly, I had not expected to enjoy the act itself, my sisters had warned me that it was usually not enjoyable for them, but Feyd had been very good at bringing me pleasure as well as himself. My body is pressed close to him and his arm is stretched out underneath my shoulders. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” he says into the silence after a while. 

I turn slightly to look at him properly, he doesn’t meet my eyes but I can see a hint of the vulnerability he used to show me when we were young children. “I didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter. The reverend mother told my parents her decision after she had met me, and honestly, it was better than my other option so I couldn’t bring myself to fight it.”

“What was your other option?” He looks at me now, confusion etched onto his face. I smile slightly at his ignorance of the fate of someone like me, I bring my hand up to his cheek, smiling softly at him. 

“My father was not far from arranging a betrothal. I had heard him speaking to my mother about it many times. The lords he was considering,” I cannot meet his eyes for a moment, “it disgusted me even then. Men far older than me, adult men.” I shake myself out of my thoughts, bringing my eyes up to his again. “The reverend mother promised me early in my training that if I continued to exceed expectations then I would not be destined to sire a random heir for a pointless house. I would have done anything to stop myself being married off and turned into some submissive wife. Or worse, a concubine.” 

“Your father was a disgusting man.” His hands brush lightly against my legs, in a comforting touch. “I would have stuck to my word. I could have convinced the Baron to speak to your father about allowing us to marry, they would have both liked the idea of our houses joining.” His softness surprises me. Apparently underneath everything, he has not changed since we were children, at least not towards me. I can’t help my widening smile towards him. 

“Not much has truly changed since we were children has it? You’re still trying to protect me from things you have no power over. I’m safe now.” I look towards my stomach and place a hand over it, I can feel that we’ve been successful in securing the line. This means that as long as the pregnancy is successful, I will be able to dedicate my life to raising him. 

I see his eyes trail from my eyes to where my hand is resting. I see understanding pass over his eyes. “Does that mean you’re leaving again?” He sounds guarded again, like he did when he first saw me again. I let out a sigh as I consider my words. 

“The reverend mother wants him raised in the Bene Gesserit way. He is destined to be the Kwisatz Haderach, and he needs to be trained for it from a young age.” I feel emphatic as his eyes grow sad, I wonder how he can still feel all these things after the cruelty I know his uncle will have inflicted on him over the years. 

He pulls me in close to him, resting his head on my shoulder and I feel his hand ghost my stomach. “I’m not letting them take you again, either of you. Don’t worry, I can protect you this time.” I let him hold me, allowing myself to realise how his uncle has truly affected him over the years. He said it so softly, with so much care, but with his extreme behaviours over the years, it is clear that he truly means it. Even if I did not want to stay with him, it’s clear I don’t have that choice.

tags: @thenatallie

[dark-frosted-heart]

Clavis’ 4th Birthday Story (His POV)

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

Since meeting Emma, birthdays have become more special.

Year after year, it was a momentous occasion where I celebrated my birth as my fiancee poured her heart and soul into expressing her love for me. And not to be outdone, I too strive to make each year more enjoyable than the last—

Clavis: So you’re saying that you’re not giving your cute little brother a vacation on his birthday?

Chevalier: …

However, this year, before my birthday, my detestable older brother threw a wrench in my plans.

Clavis: Let me kill you just this once.

Chevalier: You’re welcome to draw your sword, but you’ll fail.

Clavis: Why. You’ve never harassed me like this before.

Chevalier: It’s official business.

Clavis: You can do it yourself.

Chevalier: The ambassador who caused issues is a friend of yours, is he not?

Clavis: It’s not the first time you’ve met them.

Chevalier: I made them cry.

Clavis: …

Chevalier: Give up.

(What’s the catch?)

Recently we received a report that a staff member of the embassy for a certain country was using their diplomatic immunity to commit crimes.

Although they needed to be dealt with, it wasn’t a dire situation and was something that Chevalier could handle alone.

(...Was it a miracle that I didn’t have any official duties on my birthday every year?)

(In any case, it doesn’t look like I’ll be getting a vacation)

With an impudent attitude as if to say our conversation was done, Chevalier returned his attention back to his paperwork.

(...Not only will Emma not be able to celebrate my birthday, she won’t even be able to spend time with me…)

(This sucks)

--

However, when I arrived at one of the royal villas on my birthday, my heart did a flip.

Emma: We have been expecting you, King Chevalier and King Clavis.

(Why are you here?)

She wore a tidy maid’s uniform and the skirt was long enough to cover her ankles, a wig that gave her a different hairstyle, and a pair of glasses.

Her voice was different too, but each move she made screamed Emma.

(This…is supposed to be a disguise)

(A surprise present?)

(I did tell her where I was going, but I didn’t expect this)

For a moment, I forgot that I was here on official business and smiled.

However, I couldn’t defy Emma’s expectations so I chose my next words carefully to not sound unnatural.

Clavis: Oh, a maid. I thought I’d have to take care of Chevalier here.

Villa caretaker: I hired a maid this year. Please understand that I’m getting too old to take care of this place myself.

(Perhaps the madam is an accomplice)

(I thought I wouldn’t be able to see her on my birthday this year…)

(You never disappoint me, Emma)

Acting as a new maid, Emma seemed ready to accompany us on our official business.

Naturally, as the original trap master, I couldn’t just stand by.

If she had a huge surprise waiting for me, then I’d need to return it with a suitable trap to not ruin my reputation.

--

Emma: Please wait, King Chevalier!

Emma: …The path over there is shorter, allow me to show you the way.

Clavis: Hmm…

--

Emma: Please wait, King Chevalier!

Emma: There appears to be something wrong with the carriage, so allow me to inspect it right away. If you can give me a few minutes…

Clavis: Oh?

--

Emma: Please wait, King Chevalier!

Emma: There may be a bomb planted in there, so please allow me to deal with it…!

Clavis: You’ll deal with it?

--

Emma: Ah, there’s also a pit trap there…Please wait!

--

Emma: Aaahh, there’s bananas falling from the sky so please wait!!

--

Emma: Wait, please wai—Aaaahhhhh

–

(Goodness, that was truly a sight to see. I didn’t know that she’d be able to see through all the traps I set for her)

Something that could only be done with love was truly a fitting birthday present.

Thanks to Emma, the hopelessness I felt a few days ago disappeared and I felt great.

However, there’s still some things that need answers.

Chevalier’s actions, as he presented a mountain of paperwork, was as puzzling as ever.

While the “new maid” was sent to get us some tea, it was time to settle this. 

Clavis: What’s your goal?

Chevalier: …

Clavis: You said I was needed for the embassy matter or else diplomatic relations would’ve been severed. However, these are papers that can wait until tomorrow. Why do we have to get through these today?

Chevalier: …

Clavis: Haha, you’re not saying anything. Can’t say anything about Licht like this, you know?

(I don’t think this man would do anything meaningless)

(So this means something)

(Both bringing me here on my birthday and this absurd pile of paperwork at night…)

I casually glanced at the papers.

The pile didn’t have anything concerning national politics, but rather the Michel territory.

Since it was the family that my mother’s had served for generations, it wasn’t unusual for me to be asked to assist in managing the estate.

However, the issue was that those documents were here of all places.

(This place has nothing to do with the Michel family.)

Clavis: Why did you bring this here?

Chevalier: You think I’d gone through the trouble?

Clavis: Haha. I thought you were trying to harass me.

Chevalier: This was delivered to the castle today. It’s addressed to you.

Clavis: Me?

I froze.

(There’s only one other person cruel enough to give me documents concerning the Michel territory)

Clavis: You don’t think they went to the castle, do you?

I glanced at Chevalier and he laughed at me.

Clavis: …She did. That old hag has too much time on her hands.

Chevalier: Lucky you? You happened to not be in the castle and she didn’t have time for long distance traveling. Someone else brought this.

(...)

Though my mother had passed, I had another relative who was alive and well.

The matriarch of the Lelouch family, my grandmother— 

I was currently in the midst of a private dispute over my fiancee that I didn’t want Emma to find out about.

If I had run into her on my birthday, there would be no time to celebrate.

This time I was saved because I just so “happened” to be off on official business somewhere  far away.

Realizing that…I found myself troubled.

(I've been saved. By this man no less)

(No, he’s not that kind of guy. Normally he wouldn’t involve himself in something like this)

Chevalier: It was convenient for me. That’s all.

(...)

~~ Flashback ~~

Clavis: Hey, Chevalier! It’s my birthday today. Let’s celebrate this year.

Chevalier: …

Clavis: Hey!

Chevalier: Do you believe you’re worth celebrating?

Clavis: I do!

Chevalier: …

Clavis: Don’t laugh at me!

Chevalier: If you want someone to celebrate, make it worth celebrating. Then we’ll talk.

Clavis: You’re always like this. Always talking about worth…it’s not funny!

~~ Flashback end ~~

(Ahh…He’s really making me angry)

Every year, Chevalier’s the only one that doesn’t celebrate my birthday and I avoid him because I don’t want to see his unpleasant face.

In hindsight, was it really a miracle that I’d never have worked on my birthday in the past?

The foreign faction’s schedule wasn’t as predictable as the domestic faction’s.

I did have some control over it, but not complete control. Only one person did—I stopped thinking about it.

(Enough. It’s only going to make me feel miserable)

Clavis: Chevalier, I still want you to step out. I can’t stand not spending any time with Emma on my birthday. If I win, I’m done with my duties.

Chevalier: …Fine. I’ll humor you.

(He usually ignores me)

--

Emma: How long have you known?

After clashing swords with Chevalier, I escaped with Emma, who happened upon us, to a nearby guest room.

Emma didn’t let me carelessly calling her my “lovely fiancee” go.

(Darn it. I’m still agitated)

Clavis: Oh, so the new maid was Emma all along…!

Emma: Don’t pretend to be surprised.

Clavis: Haha, don’t pout.

Clavis: I love you, so how could I not have noticed?

I’m confident that I can see through any of your disguises.

Emma: I guess I still need to practice more if I want to surprise you.

Clavis: Yes, that’s right.

(Her expression…I guess you can say it’s a mix of happiness and frustration)

Just looking at Emma, who’s an open book, makes me feel as if I’ve gathered up all the bliss in the world.

I felt so refreshed that I almost forgot the discomfort and disappointment I had felt earlier.

Clavis: But your aim wasn’t to surprise me, was it? My lovely fiancee, whom I didn’t think I’d be able to see on my birthday, appeared before my eyes and stayed by my side the entire time. Furthermore, she showed just how much she loved me when she saw through and stopped all my pranks. Is there a man out there that wouldn’t feel over the moon by this? I doubt it. I had another wonderful birthday this year. There were some complications, but you made up for them. 

Emma’s dissatisfaction transformed into joy.

(Ah…I feel like a fool)

Emma: It’s still too early to feel satisfied. The real thing’s just beginning. 

Clavis: Haha, is that so?

As I stared at her intently as to not miss a single movement, Emma’s face came closer and her lips touched mine in a way that was unusually honest for her tsundere self.

(There truly isn’t anyone in this world that’s as lovely as Emma)

(...Let’s forget about everything and celebrate. I want you to celebrate me)

Taking advantage of the fact that she lacked an iron will that couldn’t resist me fanning the flames, I tickled the back of her neck with my fingers.

I kissed her several times as if looking for something, but with no signs of stopping, I continued kissing her.

Perhaps it was the understanding that my birthday happened only once a year that encouraged Emma to wrap a hand behind my neck.

Emma: Apologies to King Chevalier, but…I want to spend the rest of the time with you. I’ll celebrate you for as long as we can, Clavis.

Clavis: Yes, of course.

I pushed her down on the bed hand placed my hands beside her so that she couldn’t escape— 

Clavis: I’m a man who likes to be celebrated, so I’ll let you celebrate as much as you want.

By the time I released Emma, the world was bathed in soft morning light.

Having passed out in the middle of the night, the moment she realized it was morning, Emma rushed out of the room and returned with cake and tea.

It seemed like she had made a rainbow birthday cake for me again this year, which made me smile.

(I really wanted to help, but…)

I didn’t feel like getting out of bed and propped myself up on an elbow, watching Emma fumble about.

Right now I just wanted to forget about everything and bathe in bliss.

Emma: Don’t you want to eat?

Clavis: Of course I do. But the problem is that I don’t feel like getting out of bed today.

Oh dear, what a problem indeed. I could eat if my kind-hearted, lovely fiancee would feed me.

Emma: ……

Clavis: Every year I look forward to being wrapped in your love.

Can you at least do this for the birthday boy?

Emma: …Just for today, okay?

(Hm…?)

Emma carefully set the tray with the birthday set on the bed and avoided making eye contact.

She looked embarrassed for some reason.

(I’m in the mood for eye contact though?)

Emma scooped up a piece of the colorful rainbow cake with the fork and I placed my hand on her leg.

Emma: W-what are you doing?

Clavis: Oh, would you like me to explain in detail?

Sure. I saw your exposed legs, so I thought you were offering— 

Emma: Hurry up and eat your cake, happy birthday!

(Ah, how cute…You truly are adorable)

She shoved the cake against my lips, but my hand didn’t leave her leg. Instead, I began to attack the back of her knee.

Emma: Nn…

Clavis: Haha, that was a sweet sound.

(Your weak spot)

As I continued to deliberately tickle her, Emma became more agitated.

Emma: The cake’s about to fall off.

Clavis: We can’t have that. I don’t want to miss a single piece from a cake you made.

Come on now. If you keep looking away, it’ll really fall. 

Fed up, Emma finally looked at me.

(Oh…)

Her serious expression was filled with allure.

The atmosphere was dizzying to the point of shattering all sense of reason.

(I know what that tsun-tsun face means)

(It’s the face she makes when she loves me so much she doesn’t know what to do with herself)

The confidence came not from conceitedness, but rather past experience.

Just like how Emma can see through all my pranks, I also know Emma pretty well myself.

Clavis: You really know how to please me, don’t you?

Emma: Do I?

Clavis: Yes. I present you with the honor of Lelouch Master. A title only you could earn.

Emma: That…

Might make me feel a little happy.

Clavis: Don’t feel so modest. You’re “very happy” aren’t you?

Emma’s cheeks slowly turned red and she tried to look elsewhere.

When I moved a finger as if to reprimand her, she returned her gaze to me as if understanding what I wanted.

(You might’ve not noticed, but the new maid would also sometimes let her gaze wander off)

(You’d look away any time I praised you for seeing through a prank)

(A habit whenever you get embarrassed. However—)

Clavis: Keep your eyes on me, Miss Accomplice.

After all, everything I do is out of love for you, isn’t it?

Not just now, but everything else up to this point.

Emma seemed to notice my implications.

Emma: Clavis, it can’t be that…all the pranks played on King Chevalier…they were— 

Clavis: As expected of the Lelouch Master. You’re pretty sharp.

(If you kept your eyes on me, you would’ve noticed sooner)

(...Because I couldn’t stop smiling)

Emma: You played me.

Clavis: Haha, you still have ways to go. After Master, you should aim for Legend.

Emma: Of course, I’ll get promoted right away. I’ll reach Legend next year.

Clavis: Oh, that’s a lot of confidence.

Emma: So, um…that means I want to understand you even better than before!

(...!)

She shoved the cake in my mouth and quickly kissed his cheek.

Emma, who distanced herself, looked like she was about to start steaming from embarrassment. But her eyes didn’t leave me as quickly as they did before.

(Every time you celebrate me, I feel like I can’t lose)

(...I got saved by Chevalier this year, which isn’t good)

(I have to learn to protect myself so that Emma can love me freely)

I wanted to give Emma more happiness than she had given me.

That’s why I have this strong desire.

Clavis: Now then, let’s see what your future holds.

Can you love me even more, Emma?

(I’ll pull some evil deeds behind the scenes…so that you can love me even more)

[jokertrap-ran]

[うたプリライエモ] Uta no Prince-sama LIVE EMOTION 2024 Birthday Greetings Translation (Side: HE★VENS)

*T/N: I did this on a whim but I did promise some utapri content, so.

Eiichi: Happy birthday. I have half the mind to celebrate your birthday with everyone else and go out with a bang, but I hope to spend today alone with you.

Eiichi: Looking back at it now, our meeting must have been an act of fate. If there was one word to describe it, it would be “destiny”.

Eiichi: Thank you, for being born in the same lifetime as me. Let me show you the feelings I have that can’t be conveyed through words alone on our date to come.

Kira: Happy… birthday. First and foremost… I wanted to tell you that before anything… else.

Kira: Words cannot describe my feelings… for you… even if I had a day. That’s just how… deep… my feelings are.

Kira: Are you… frustrated? In that case… I will put my emotions into song. Please accept it…

Nagi: Happy birthday~✰ Nagi doesn’t mind singing you a birthday song to celebrate♪

Nagi: But I’d be in quite the pickle if you got too absorbed in be just because I did that as fanservice. Oh, look at yourself!

Nagi: You can’t go making that face in front of others. You can only pull that sorta face in front of Nagi, okay? Promise me?

Eiji: Happy birthday! It might seem like I’m exaggerating, but I’ve really been looking forward to this day.

Eiji: Even just the thought of it makes me happy… In fact, my life has felt fulfilling ever since I met you.

Eiji: Let me tell you my honest feelings so that I don’t leave any regrets. Thank you, always. Stay by me forever, alright?

Van: Happy birthday! Your smile’s lookin’ especially cute today.

Van: Is it really alright for me to think of ‘ya that way? I’m glad if it is!

Van: I did think of puttin’ an end to this joke but, nah. I’d like for ‘ya to keep smilin.

Yamato: It’s your birthday today? Now that’s a cause to celebrate! And celebrations call for cake! And we’re definitely gonna go for a run after the cake!

Yamato: But well… you only get a birthday once per year, so maybe it’s alright to loosen up a little.

Yamato: Is it that surprising? Hey now, that smile on your face is something I’d never get tired of seeing.

Shion: Today is the day you were blessed with life unto this realm. It is a joy to give you my well-wishes in person…

Shion: The time spent with you is as comfy as napping under a spot of sunlight. It is something that nothing else can compare to.

Shion: It would not be an exaggeration to say that there is no greater happiness than that. If I have to stake my all into doing so, so be it as it may, but allow me to express my gratitude today.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making my sister break up with her boyfriend?

My (20M) sister, “S” (28F) has been dating this man, “D” (40M) for about two years now. I didn’t like D at first, before I met him — I liked my sister’s ex-girlfriend a lot and hated her new partner on instinct. I especially didn’t like D when I found out he was 12 years older than my sister, who isn’t even 30 yet. (And yes, I know, there is nothing really wrong or creepy about a 28 and 40 year old dating, she is more than old enough to make her own choices. However, consider this fact: I am allowed to have biased opinions on my sister’s dating life. That’s basically my job as a little brother.)

I thought I would warm up to D eventually, but I never really did. He’s not awful, really… just didn’t have any personality I cared for. He’s very boring. Very obviously a 40 year old man, if you catch my drift. I don’t see what my sister sees in him, but, whatever, right? She’s happy, that’s all that matters. Except the longer I knew him, the less and less I liked him.

While at first he came off as a casual, polite guy, the more I saw of him, I realized how rude he is. He always comes to family gatherings late (and last Thanksgiving he literally fell asleep and wasn’t seen for the entire last half of the night. He didn’t even get to eat.), he never greets me when he sees me, and I realized he belittles my sister a lot, too. When she excitedly shared her birthday plans with him, he immediately laughed and tore her down, saying “who would even go to that?” in response, for one example of that.

Now, I definitely wouldn’t have gone to the lengths that I did if this was a casual boyfriend. However, my sister is dead set on this guy. She’s even talked about marrying him and starting a family, and she’s a total hippie. She’s NEVER talked about that kind of thing, not with any partner she’s EVER had. Never even crossed her mind before. I refuse to let this man be my brother-in-law, and I refuse to let my sister spend the rest of her life with this scumbag that nobody in the family likes. (And obviously, for the record, I and the rest of my family have tried to speak with S about her boyfriend before. But as you can probably guess, most people don’t really listen when their family says “we don’t like your boyfriendddd!!” or else nobody in the entire world would have a relationship.)

So, one day when D left his phone in a room alone with me on accident, I had a plan. When I returned it to him, I gave S a subtle concerned look, and whispered that I had to talk to her when he left. When he did leave, I told her I saw conspicuous messages from another woman on there. I knew, obviously, that there was no proof, but I knew she would believe me over him, with the simple excuse of “he probably deleted the messages from his phone” excusing the lack of evidence. She believed me just like I thought, and dumped him.

Maybe I overreacted here. It’s not like D was (to my knowledge) abusive, just an asshole. And I know that if S ever finds out what I did, it will destroy her trust in me forever. At best, I’m honestly expecting JAH. But I still don’t regret what I did. I just won’t let my sister spend the rest of her life with a man like him. She’s a kind, attractive, fun woman, and she plays for both teams, so I know she can do better. I felt like I had no other choice and they didn’t seem to be breaking up by their own choice anytime soon.

So, am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[mirkwoodshewolf]

No following; Planet of the apes fanfic Chap. 5

*Author's note*

And here we go with the start of even more family drama happening with the Rodman family. And we are also getting closer to ending ROTPOTA story line, the next chapter will be the last one for the first book before going into book two which takes place during DAWN. So get ready for that and be on the lookout for that. Until then continue to enjoy my lovely readers.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@queen-paladin

@psychosupernatural

____________________________________________________

Life went on as expected.  I graduated high school, got my diploma and performed my last show with the Community center.  But even though life outside the Rodman house was normal, on the inside there was a dark cloud constantly hovering over us.

My grandpa’s health was rapidly deteriorating day by day.  Now he hardly ever moved, nor did he speak.  All he did was just lay in bed or sit on it if Will wanted him to at least be out of bed.  Will had thrown himself not only into his work but also trying to find a way to bring Caesar back home.  Caroline’s tried to be there for Will but truthfully what could she do to help?  

As for me, well—there are days when I just spend most of my time in Caesar’s room, preserving all of this things just the way they were.  I’d look at all the old drawings he did when he was just a young chimp, the models he’s built and puzzles he’s completed.  I’d even play some of his favorite movie soundtracks he’d come to love thanks to me.

Even though Uncle Will and Caroline said to me that we’d be allowed visitation rights to Caesar, we just had to call in advance before we could.  And it couldn’t be more than one visit a month.  That alone wasn’t good enough for me, I’d be leaving by mid-August and then who knows what could happen to him by then.

He could be put down, sent to an even worse facility, I don’t know.  I began doing some research on the San Bruno facility and as I expected there wasn’t much to go by.  Nothing but the smoke and mirrors of them providing ‘enrichment and quality integration with other chimps’.  I then went into my contacts and called up one of my friends who once worked for the school yearbook.

“Hey Doe, listen do you still have that camera I gave you for your birthday last year? Oh nothing’s wrong I just need to borrow it for a little bit, is that alright? Great, thanks. Yeah, yeah that’ll work. Okay see yah tomorrow. Bye girl, and thanks again. Kiss, kiss.” I hung up and turned to an old photo that Will made for Caesar.

It was the two of us together on his 3rd birthday just after I had performed E.T’s flight for him.  My violin bow in hand with Caesar and I leaning against the other and him holding my violin carefully in his.

“I promised I’d never let anything happen to you, and I failed you little brother. But I’m not gonna fail you again.” My plan forming carefully in my head.

The next day I met my friend Dorinda at her aunt’s cat café and she gave me the camera I had given her for her 17th birthday.  A 4K megapixel digital camera.  Doe was always into photography which is why all her pictures were the best ones in the school yearbook.  And like me, she’s getting a scholarship all the way in New York for Journalism with a focus in principle photography.

I promised to bring the camera back before she left for New York in two weeks to start moving into her new apartment her dad had found for her (her parents had gotten divorced during our sophomore year).  I then rode on my motorbike towards San Bruno’s primate shelter.

Once I got there, I was careful not to drive up to the gate, instead I found an old abandoned building that was fairly close to the shelter and snuck inside of it.  I climbed up the stairs until I reached a good window that happened to look down at the sanctuary.

I turned on the camera and looked through the lens screen and saw the full 4k HD picture of the San Bruno Primate shelter.  I hit the zoom button and low and behold I managed to actually see the security building and saw two men.  One was a blonde haired boy who could’ve been ten years older than me, or maybe around my uncle’s age.  And the other one was a dark-haired man about the same age, maybe a few years older than the blonde haired boy.

“What I wouldn’t give to have some audio recording gear right about now.” I muttered to myself as I slowly look around the security building.

After a few minutes of nothing but seeing the two of them arguing, or more like the blonde one bullying the dark-haired man, I soon heard the sounds of a car pulling up.  Without hesitation, the gates opened up and the car pulled in.  I was beginning to think this could be another employers car or even the manager who runs the shelter, but the second I heard the frantic honks and faint sounds of cheering, I knew this wasn’t the case.

Soon enough two girls and another boy came out of the car and were waving around bottles of beer.  I smirked and began snapping the pictures of them.  The blonde boy coming out and greeting whom I assumed were his friends, and him letting them inside the shelter.  I also made sure to get good pictures of the beer his buddy brought.  Smirking I looked down at the camera and said.

“Gotcha.” I raced out of the building and headed back towards my bike. Quick as I could, I drove off to the closest Walmart and went over to the tech department to get the photos developed.  After waiting about 20-25 minutes, the clerk handed me the photos and I thanked him before heading out.

I packed up everything I was going to need tomorrow when I heard a knock at my door.  I jumped slightly but relaxed once I saw that it was uncle Will.

“I just got off the phone with the sanctuary, your visitation tomorrow has been approved.”

“Thanks Will.” I said.

“Now you sure you don’t need me to come with you. I know that things have been—delicate for you lately since Caesar was……”

“I’ll be fine uncle Will. Who knows, maybe seeing him and knowing that he’s alright will put me at ease.”

“You know I’m doing everything I can to get him back, right?”

“I know you are. Believe me, I know.” I walked up to him and embraced him.  “You’ve always tried to be so strong. It’s okay to need help.” I heard him sniffle before he separated from me and he said.

“You might wanna get some sleep. They told me they’re expecting you at 10am sharp.” Without another word, he left my room and I let out a deep sigh.  I got into bed and soon fell asleep after setting my alarm.

Bright and early the next morning, I got up, got dressed, had my breakfast and took off towards the San Bruno primate shelter before the summer morning traffic could hit.  This time I came straight to the gate and after showing my electronic approval to the dark-haired employer, he let me in and escorted me inside.

“What’s your name?” I asked him.

“Pardon?” he asked nervously.

“I asked you for your name.” I asked him again.

“R-Rodney.” He replied.

“Pleasure to meet you Rodney, I’m Lin. Lin Rodman.” I extended out my hand as we came into the office and he hesitantly took my hand before we shook on it.

“Alright Rodney piss off and get back to work!” snapped the blonde-haired man.  Rodney flinched and raced off further down the sanctuary corridor.  “So, my father tells me you’re here for the new guy? Been nothing but trouble that one.”

“All apes are intelligent beings if you take the time to know them in a calm, collective manner.” I told him.  He rolled his eyes and groaned.

“Oh don’t tell me you’re one of those people. The ones that are always protesting for animal rights and their free speech. Please they’re animals! They don’t know the difference between food and their own shit.” I narrowed my eyes at him and said as I came around and sat down at one of the chairs.

“And just who are you to say something like that?”

“Are you kidding me? Kid, I’m Dodge Landon. And I know better than these stupid monkeys.”

“Apes. Monkeys have tails, apes don’t.”

“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.” He trudged out of the main office and I followed right behind him to another room where a large cage with only a small slot stood.  “Wait over there.” He ordered me as he pointed at a bench before continuing onward.  I sat down at it and waited for a bit.

Soon I heard the sound of footsteps coming from the roof and hopping down in the cage was Cesar.  The second we saw one another, Caesar hooted happily and I came over to him taking his hand in mine.

“Hey, hey there Caesar.” He reached up and gently touched where the bruise from Hunsiker’s punch was at as he signed to me.

‘Still hurt bad?’

“It’s fine, see? Bruise is gone now. I’m okay bud, I’m okay.” The second I saw Dodge come into the room I stood up and asked him. “I’d like to know that he’s being well taken care of here and that no harm has come to him.”

“He’s fine. If he gets picked on, that’s his problem, not ours.” Dodge shrugged nonchalantly.

“So you wouldn’t care if a court order of animal abuse came onto this sanctuary?”

“Truthfully I could care less about what happens to this place. My father’s the one who really runs it, he just forces me to work here.”

“Huh.” I hummed.  “Now according to your website, you say you provide an ‘enriching environment’ is that correct?”

“Yeah, so what?”

“So what is that exactly? Just out of curiosity.”

“You know you’re asking a lot of questions that shouldn’t be asked.”

“Well now hold on a second, I’m merely just making conversation here. I’d like to know that the temporary home that Caesar is in is giving him everything he needs. He’s not like other chimps you know.”

“Please. He’s just another dumb animal who thinks he’s special. And you’re a nosy little girl whose sticking her nose where it don’t belong!” Caesar lowly growled but I held my hand out in front of him to calm him down.

“I suppose I am. But before you do anything, I’d like to show you something.” I went over to my pack and pulled out the folder and held it out to him.  He snatched the folder and opened it up to reveal the fully developed 4k pictures of him and his friends together with beer in hand and him sneaking them inside the sanctuary through the backdoor.

“How’d you get these pictures?” he hissed at me.

“How I got them doesn’t matter, what matters is what are you going to do with them.”

“You really think you’re so smart, huh? Well I’ll show you!” he then proceeded to rip up the pictures to shreds. “There, now you have no evidence.”

“Don’t I?” I then pulled out the thumb drive I had put the pictures on before getting them developed.  “Now I know you said you could care less what happens to this place, but what happens if—I don’t know say….the public finds out about this? If the courts decided this place was unreliable to house unwanted apes. After all in this day in age, it’s the public opinion that rules all, right? Even if the courts don’t do anything, the people will. And that would be such a headache for you, now wouldn’t it? Unless……we come to a little deal.”

Dodge looked at me with both seething anger but also a hint of fear.

“You blackmailing me?” he asked.

“Yes.” I replied after a moment of silence.  I gave him an unsettling wide smile, softly chuckling while and a crazy look to my eye to let him know I meant business.

“What do you want?” I turned towards Caesar and said as I took his hand in mine.

“I should like to come at least twice a week, no further visitor approval. And I shall provide the apes true enrichment. Give you less work to do.”

“And just how do you expect over 100 apes are going to listen to you.”

“Music doth soothes the savage beast, isn’t that how the quote goes? In that folder you’ll also see my resume of performing with the San Fransico community center orchestra. You give me at least an hour to entertain the apes with true enrichment, and no one ever need know your dirty little secret. Not even your own father.”

I could see Dodge going over my proposition in his head, he took a deep breath in before exhaling sharply.

“And you swear you won’t go back on your deal and release those photos online?”

“You keep your end of the bargain, and I shall keep mine.” Dodge glared at me but he soon said.

“Deal. In fact you can start now, these animals have been going mad for hours.” As he turned away I turned to Caesar and muttered.

“Got it, Malfoy.” Caesar let out a laugh as I snickered which made Dodge stop and slowly turn to us.

“What did you call me?”

“Nothing, nothing not a thing, Draco Malfoy.” I told him before muttering the name under my breath again.  “I’ll see you on the other side Caesar.” He nodded and proceeded back up the cage and I heard his footsteps trail off.

“Move it.” Dodge lowly sneered as he gestured for me to move.  I was then taken to the back room where I feared all the apes were actually living was revealed.

Tightly condensed cages with only room for them to pace a foot between and only a small bunk-like bed for them to sit on if they didn’t want to sit at the floor of their cages.  All the chimps were going insane in their cages, beating on them, hotting and chattering hysterically.

“Sweet Jesus it’s worse than I thought.” I muttered.

“Oi! If you don’t mind, get on with your silly fiddle music.” Dodge impatiently snapped.

“It’s a violin, not a fiddle.” I set my case down and took out my violin.

“Uhh Dodge? Wh-why is she back here?” Rodney asked nervously.

“Oh don’t worry Rodney, I’m here to give you boys a bit of extra help.” I gave him a wink as I walked down the ramps tuning my violin to make sure it was good and ready.  As I came to the pathway between the cages, the apes began to settle down as they all looked to me.   

I then proceeded to play the very song I played at my last performance with the community center.  Celtic woman’s ‘Granuaile’s Dance’.  The second I started with the first few notes and dancing about like a doe in springtime, the apes all went silent as they watched me.

I’d dance in front of some of their cages, spinning on the balls of my feet while continuously playing.  Some came up to their cages with an entranced look that Caesar always had whenever I’d play for him.  Others began softly hooting happily as I’d do another spin for them before running down the corridors.

I made sure to give every ape the same attention as I played in each row and ran down the long, winding corridor.  Twirling, jumping, skipping, and racing down as I played my violin.  By the end of it all, I had raced back towards the main entrance of the corridor and when I finished, I heard some claps from the apes while the rest of them hooted and chattered in their way as an applause. I even heard some claps from above as I saw Rodney clapping but then he stopped when Dodge glared at him.

“Now if you gentlemen don’t mind, I’ve got about 57 minutes left of this concert and I think the apes would appreciate it if they weren’t being monitored like common criminals.” Dodge turned away scoffing under his breath.

“Whatever.”

“J-just be sure to not get too close to the cages.” Rodney advised me.  I nodded and he left to go back into the infirmary office.  I took a deep breath in and proceeded to do several more compositions until my hour was almost up.  For the remainder of the five minutes I had left, I sat in front of Caesar’s cage.

“So you think the others enjoyed having true enrichment?”

‘Yes. Maurice especially loved it.’ Caesar signed.

“Who’s Maurice?” Caesar then pointed over to the only Orangutan in the sanctuary.  Maurice looked at me with eyes that held the same level of intelligence as Caesar and he began to sign.

‘You play beautifully.’ I gasped softly and signed to him.

‘You know sign language?’

‘Circus orangutan.’ Maurice signed to me.  I looked at him sympathetically and signed back to him.

‘I’m so sorry.’

‘No need for apologizes.’ I turned back to Caesar and he signed to me.

‘When can I go home?’ I sighed solemnly.

“Believe me brother, if it were up to me I’d bust you out of here right now. But only Will can get you out of here, I have no legal right to do that. I’m sorry.” Caesar huffed lowly as he looked away from me.  “I’m really sorry Caesar, the only thing I can do is come twice a week and provide you with some semblance of home thanks to my deal with the owner’s son.” He didn’t look back at me.  “I’ll see you in two days.” I packed up my violin and headed out the door.

“Finally finished?” Dodge sneered.

“Be thankful I took an hour of your miserable life of having to deal with these intelligent creatures. And remember our deal, if I hear you mentioning this to your father, the pictures get posted on my Instagram.” I walked out the door, got on my bike and headed back to the house.

Along with providing music for the apes, I also performed for grandpa in hopes of getting some recognition back into his eyes.  But all he gives any of us is the thousand-yard stare.

Sometimes I wonder if there is such a thing as ‘out of body experience’, that way grandpa could really see just how much his health has affected all of us.  Like cancer, the worst thing about Alzheimer’s disease is not what it does to the person it’s affecting, but the people around them.

Four weeks later and I had just finished my current concert I had given the apes at San Bruno primate sanctuary.  And as usual, I try to make the last few minutes be the one on one time with Caesar and I.  Lately, however, I’ve noticed how he’s grown to be more distant.  He hardly ever signs back to me, only giving me the occasional nod or one worded sign.  I sat by his cage and said to him.

“I don’t know what happened after the last time Will and Caroline came to see you a week ago, but surely it can’t be worth all this brooding and misery.” He didn’t turn back to face me.  “Please Caesar, you’re really starting to worry me. You can hardly look at me anymore. Are you—ashamed of me being here now?” he remained on his bunk bed, his back turned to me.

My heart cracked as I let out a soft scoff.

“Alright, I can take a hint.” I packed up my violin and told him. “Just know that all these years together wasn’t a game to me, nor a lie. You were like the little brother I never had, but if you don’t want me in your life anymore, I’ll respect your decision. I’ll remember you though, after all—I remember everyone who leaves.” A tear slid down my face as I raced out of the sanctuary and rode back home.

I stayed in my room the rest of the day and into the night.  Looking through the old scrapbook I had made of Caesar and myself throughout the years.  All of his best drawings, pictures of us together, things we collected during our time in the redwoods.  My throat clenched tightly and my heart sunk to my stomach.

I grabbed an old suitcase and with all the memorabilia I had that reminded me of Caesar, I placed them in the suitcase before zipping it up and placing a lock on the suitcase and locked it up.  I then slid the suitcase under my bed before collapsing onto my bed burying my face into my pillow as tears once again fell down my face.

And just when I thought I didn’t have anymore tears to shed, I woke the next morning to check on grandpa when I saw him and uncle Will together.  Grandpa’s body pale as his white sheets and lying still like a statue.  Will turned to me with tears in his eyes and he shook his head at me.

My body went numb—I didn’t feel myself collapse to my knees but I did take notice of how the world looked bigger while I felt smaller.  I must’ve let out some heart-breaking wail because uncle Will came and held me in his arms while Caroline came rushing in and I saw her checking on grandpa, but there wasn’t anything she could do.  There wasn’t anything anyone could do.

My grandpa, Charles Rodman, was dead.

We had the funeral a week later.  I didn’t even hear the automatic speech that the officiant had to say about my grandpa, all I could hear was muffled voices while I watched brokenly as my grandfather’s casket was lowered into the earth.

After the service, I was back in my room fiddling with some of grandpa’s old sheet music.  I don’t know why but now that he’s gone I feel—empty.  Like all the music I once had inside of me, the passion I once had for it, it was completely gone.  I tossed the sheet music aside and I heard a knock at my door.

“Knock, knock, may I come in?” I heard Caroline’s voice ask softly.  I let out a small grunt allowing her inside my room.  She sat down beside me and asked me, “How are you holding up Lin?”

“Was it worth it?” I croaked out for the first time after being silent for a whole week.

“What?”

“Was it worth pulling it off? His death? Would it have—hurt less if he had passed on five years ago? Or would we still be in this much pain, knowing that he didn’t have to have that fleeting second chance.”

“I know there’s nothing I can say that’ll bring him back, or change what happened. But you should at least take comfort in the fact that—he’s no longer suffering anymore. And he’ll always be with you, as long as you remember the things he taught you.” I moved my eyes towards my violin and I suddenly had a distain for it.

“LIN!!” Will’s voice cried out after hearing the front door slam shut.  Thunderous footsteps came up and he soon entered my room, a pissed off look across his face.

“Will, hold on now’s not the—”

“No Caroline this is between me and her.” Will snapped.  Caroline stood up and walked over to my uncle, holding his arm.

“Choose your next words carefully. She’s in a fragile state right now.” She then left closing the door behind her.

“The month you’d disappear twice a week for, tell me exactly where’d you go off to? And don’t lie to me.” I looked up at him.

“Visiting the community center to—”

“I SAID DON’T LIE TO ME LIN!!” he said slamming his hand on my dresser.  “I know Lin. I know you’ve been sneaking out to see Caesar by blackmailing the owner’s son. He told me, ‘tell that little brat of yours I don’t care about the photos. Now both of you aren’t my problem anymore’.”

“You already know, what’s the point in me telling you?”

“Don’t turn this around! Why would you do something so incredibly stupid!? If it had gotten out by the time the court date came around that you trespassed on private property, blackmailed their staff, and illegally saw Caesar, we’d never get him back! You never think these things through!”

“What like you did?! When you gave grandpa that drug? Or not telling Caesar who he really was? Or even just now by paying off Mr. Landon just to break Caesar out!” I snapped as I stood up from my bed and got into his face.  “Yeah, I saw the envelope full of money before we left for the service for grandpa. You’re not as slick as you think you are uncle.”

“Well as you can see it didn’t work. Caesar wouldn’t leave with me.”

“Good.” I went to walk away but he roughly grabbed my arm and snapped.

“What now all of a sudden you don’t care about him anymore? You’d always call him your brother ape now you’re acting like you don’t even know him!”

“Because I’ve learned to accept what he wanted. Something that you clearly can’t seem to grasp, and I don’t just mean for Caesar.” He let go of my arm and said.

“You got to be with your grandfather longer than you would’ve…”

“And then his disease came back! Ten times worse than it was before! You didn’t think that would happen!?”

“It’s not my fault that you turned your back for one second for him to get into Hunsiker’s car allowing Caesar to be taken away from us!” silence immediately rang through my room.

My fists clenched so tightly that my knuckles turned white and my nails dug deep into my palms.  I shook with rage as uncle Will suddenly realize what he had said.

“Lin, I—”

“No! No this is great! It’s great that you finally spoke the truth after all this time! I’m happy to know that Caesar being taken away was all my fault! So I’m sorry if I made things harder on you but in less than a month from now you…won’t even have to deal with me!” I stormed out of my room as well as out of the house.

I didn’t even bother grabbing my bike, I just ran as fast and as hard as I could down the street.  I don’t know where I ended up and I didn’t care, all I knew was that I couldn’t stay in that house.

[lira-kaarijaart]

On the occasion of Käärijä's birthday

As a Käärijä fan, I realised that this is the second time I've celebrated his birthday, which means that it has already been a year and a half since I fell in love with him.

In the past year and a half, his music, personality, words, videos and photos have given me a lot of energy and courage.

And thanks to him, I've been able to connect with fellow fans from all over the world on social media, which has been a lot of fun.

But at the same time, the past year and a half has also been a time when the cruelty and ugliness of humanity has been shown to me more openly than ever before.

I use various social media to provide information about him to Käärijä fans in Japan and to help Japanese people who do not yet know him to like him, but everywhere I look, not just on twitter, I find daily hate posts against Käärijä.

Some people simply don't like him.

Some still bring up ESC 2023 even though it has been a year and a half already, put him down just to praise Loreen.

Some loudly insult him out of their humanitarian convictions, saying they cancel him, and yet they are back in fandom nonchalantly.

Others say they are true fans and are criticising him for his own good, so this does not constitute slander, but they speak ill of him, his friends and his family with foul language.

Some, feeling an unnecessary obligation to educate him, impose their opinions on him, ignore his human rights and try to turn him into someone they like.

And even between fans, drama is created every day.

Even I, who am not Käärijä himself, go crazy when I see these posts day after day, but I can only imagine how Käärijä himself feels when he receives all this hate, directly or indirectly, and it brings me to tears every day.

Most people, not only those who hate him, but even those who say they are his fans, don't care what one person, Mr.Jere Pöyhönen, would think of these posts.

They all believe they are absolutely righteous and just and are desperate to have their righteousness recognised and agreed upon in the small world of social media. Most of the things you don't like about him and "his mistakes" end in one sentence: "That's not for me." or "It's not my thing." You don't have to spend tens of millions of filthy and mean words to justify yourself.

In Japan and South Korea, a very large number of young celebrities commit suicide due to social media slander, which has become a major problem.

A few years ago, I was greatly shocked when a young and talented female professional wrestler in Japan committed suicide because of social media slander.

I wonder if those who never tire of slandering Käärijä and speaking ill of him have ever once considered that he might die because of their posts.

Sometimes I’m seriously scared that he might commit suicide someday.

Just imagining how he'd feel when he received slurs and death-wish messages from thousands of people around the world, instead of legitimate criticism, is enough to break my heart too.

In a world where we can do anything at our fingertips, have we lost the ability to imagine things happening in places you don't know about or how other people are feeling?

Of course, when he is clearly doing something wrong, it's right to criticise him.

But criticism should be factual and dispassionate. Thinking badly of someone based on imagination alone and using dirty, strong language is just slander. And it's also slander to speak ill of something that the other person has no control over themselves, such as their appearance or background.

People who don't know the difference should not post their opinions on public accounts on social media where everyone can see them. You "criticise" and insult someone all you like, but when you post your opinion where everyone can see it and you are dismissed for it, you say, "Am I not even allowed to criticize?" That's hilarious.

If you don't want your "opinion" to be rejected, or if you want to "criticise" in abusive language, then you should only express it in closed places where only your yes-men gather, or in front of family and friends, or write down on your diary.

Once a post is on the web, it remains as a digital tattoo, no matter how much you delete it, just as you cannot take back the words that came out of your mouth.

You have freedom of speech and thought, and your right to criticise someone should not be violated, but remember that with freedom and rights come obligations and responsibilities.

Recently in Japan, there has been an acceleration in the legal crackdown on slander on social media.

If you feel comfortable hiding behind anonymity, you are wrong.

Remember that there is always the possibility that you could one day be sued by the person you have slandered, subjected to a disclosure request, criminally prosecuted and made a criminal.

I am fascinated by the thoughtful words Käärijä sometimes speaks at his gigs.

Love and peace, that's all we need.

I hope that the world he, his loved ones and his fandom will create in the future will be a world full of love and peace💚

[tequila-solar-storm]

Hello author!! Thx for replying!! I hope life has been treating you alright! Work kicked my butt and my brain is fried lol

but reading your writing had been the highlight of my day!! Will give you a proper response when my braincell allows it

Here's a lil question for ya if you'd like to answer: do you think Ajaw will be satisfied if, after working so long with Kinich, he finally obtains his body??

—🌻

Thank you so much ❤️ I hope things get more manageable on your side too!! Take as much time as you need. Your health always comes first!

As for your question… oof, that’s tricky! It can go SO many different ways!

Here’s two main ways that I can picture it playing out! Warning for angst, character death and spoilers for Kinich’s Character Story 1!

Let’s assume that Kinich, like all his ‘Malipo’ forebears, meets his end relatively young and in probably a grisly fashion. Whatever happens, when Ajaw takes over, he’ll first complete whatever task Kinich failed to see to the end. Once that’s done, Ajaw’s free to do whatever he wishes!

The realistic answer is that Ajaw won’t feel as satisfied as he initially expects to be, but he won’t be too bothered either. He’s a dragon that lived for aeons. He knows humans don’t live for long and Kinich is no different. Sure, it’s a little lonely without him around, but Ajaw’s used to solitude. He’d been stuck in a ruin, alone, for who knew how long before Kinich fished him out after all.

Contrary to his threat to Kinich, Ajaw won’t go out of his way to ruin Kinich’s reputation after taking over. He’ll make it pretty clear that Kinich is dead, and it’s Ajaw piloting the vessel now. So people can mourn all they wish. He doesn’t care for the vitriol they direct at him, or the grief that looms over Kinich’s loved ones. Their contract was fulfilled. That’s all that matters. It was always going to end one way or nothing.

If there’s ever a memorial put up for Kinich, he’ll still pay his respects on occasion. Otherwise, he’ll do whatever he pleases.

That’s what I can foresee happening in the most realistic scenario. But we’re not here for realism!!! Here’s the more drama-filled answer I like!!

Would he be satisfied? Absolutely! He finally got his promised vessel after so long! Somehow, against all odds, the persistent roach finally kicked the bucket! Ajaw would spend a lot of time enjoying his new body.

But… he doesn’t feel as satisfied as he wants to. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t shake the persistent loneliness that starts to plague him. He didn’t realise it, but he’d gotten used to the banter he had with Kinich. Tagging along on camping trips with Kinich’s friends. Fighting alongside the infuriating man. As much as he pretends otherwise, those days were golden.

Suddenly so much more beautiful with Kinich out of the picture.

Seeing Kinich’s loved ones, especially Mualani and Kachina’s, reactions to his demise hit surprisingly hard. Watching them mourn was shockingly suffocating (If Ajaw had a hand in Kinich’s death, they’ll be, through tears, demanding to know if all the time he spent with Kinich meant nothing. He’ll refuse to admit it but the question hurt. A lot).

In a way, just like how Kinich’s received the gift of freedom—and solitude—on his seventh birthday, Ajaw is the same. By losing Kinich, he gained the freedom to do whatever he pleased. But it came at the price of losing perhaps the only person in the world who genuinely, truly did love him, despite all their mishaps.

It’ll take Ajaw a long, long time to figure that out, and an even longer time to accept it. But it’s all far too late.

(Now I’m sad 😭 A bonus happy ending is Kinich actually fell during the Night Warden Wars, so after some personal soul searching, Ajaw decides to do some literal soul searching and hunt down Kinich in the Night Kingdom. He gets there through dragon magic or something idk. Lo, the persistent roach is still wandering about and hasn’t lost his mind! He gets rescued somehow, don’t ask me for details, and gets his body back! His relationship with Ajaw gets better somewhat, and though the bickering never lessens, they’re now genuine partners whose partnership will last till Kinich perishes at the ripe old age of 100! Peacefully! In bed! Surrounded by his friends and family which includes his ten grandkids or something! Yaaaaay!!)

[larapaulussen]

[queenpiranhadon]

Just gonna vent a bit

This past week has been extremely stressful and I’m just done.

I’m a theatre kid - I love performing - and we have a show coming up this week and preparing for that is just so draining because apparently since I’m a cat and the costume they gave me has a masquerade style cat mask with ears, I’m not allowed to wear my freaking glasses and no one realizes that I have really bad eyesight - not so bad that I can’t walk or function completely - but if you were me - you’d realize how fucking terrifying it is when the world around you is blurry and you feel like you’re going dizzy except you’re not because this is just the damn body you’re born in.

To add on to all the stress, I have to maintain my grades and it’s just so exhausting because it’s like “test!” “test!” “review!” “review!” “oh you got a 96%?” “do better! you can’t keep distracting yourself with all this spending time with friends”

Mixed with “you never leave the house - why don’t you go out with friends?” Maybe it’s because YOU DONT LET ME.

And to top it all off, my dad is leaving for India tomorrow- and he just got back from another business trip within but still far in the country.

Tomorrow is also my brother’s birthday - my dad was supposed to leave yesterday, but he changed it so he could be here for my brother’s birthday.

How sweet and caring and thoughtful of him right?

And yes, I get that my dad is a very hardworking man and I’m very proud of him and his accomplishments but he never cares. It’s always about my perfect little brother who is far from perfect if you ask me. No matter what I do it’s always “be better!” “do better!” “you’ve been given a privilege and you’re putting it to waste!” With him, it’s always “we believe in you!” “we’ll help you through this!!” “no matter what, we’ll always love you.”

His punishments for doing literally terrible things are so small, yet when my parents find out I’m not straight, they give me emotional trauma for months. The little fucker literally trashed the neighbor’s front yard with a friend on purpose and then when confronted about it, lies straight through his teeth.

But here’s the real topping to the cake - yes I do love my parents, no matter how many times we may disagree on things, they are my rock and I wouldn’t be where I am without them. But this one small thing they couldn’t do for me. My dad goes out of his way to make sure he is there for my brother’s birthday but he isn’t there for mine last year. Last year when he left for a trip, he missed my musical’s show nights - had to watch it on a stupid hard drive - and when he did, he never said a goddamn thing. No “good job, your singing and acting was great!” or “I wish I could’ve been there in person!”

And even now, he’s still doing the same goddamn thing - he’s missing the show I’m doing and doesn’t feel a single ounce of remorse. All my fucking hard work for nothing.

It just fucking sucks when others seems to get what you want, what you need so easily, when you’ve worked your entire life to experience barely a ghost of what could’ve been.

And finally today, my brother is lying on the floor of my room, refusing to leave me the fuck alone even though I’ve been annoyed all day from walking around shopping for shit and sitting through church and trying to keep a clear head even though I just really want to go home and take a long nap but I can’t because the little fucker and trashing the room I spent all week trying to keep clean and my mom won’t do a goddamn thing because “it’s your brother and he’s just playing with you.”

And at this point- I’m just done. Because no one gets it. No one ever does.

And so I say something along the lines of “You’re turning — tomorrow. When I was your age, I was working hard, and auditioning and competing and you’re here lying on the floor of your older sister’s bedroom completely useless.”

And yes I admit that was a little harsh - he started crying - but my mom’s response was what got me.

She said “never call you brother useless again. Keep your achievements to yourself, you hear me?! I have never heard you this mean to anyone before.”

But she doesn’t know. She doesn’t know what I go through every day m, trying to keep my head high and my eyes looking forward even though I can’t see anything.

She doesn’t know, my dad doesn’t know, my brother doesn’t know, heck, most of my friends don’t even know. They all just think I’m a smart girl who’s never had a problem with her position, getting to where she is in life.

They don’t know how hard I work, how hard I worked, to keep my shaky feet on the ground, to keep myself standing tall when there’s nothing to keep me up.

For those who surely don’t need to know, I’ve been crying while typing all of this, and I’m exhausted so I’m ending this here.

Sorry for unexpectedly trauma dumping - I just needed shit off of my chest.

Hope y’all are doing okay!

Lotsa love from Kae <3

[nctsjiho]

Happy Birthday To... Me

cw: none || era: 18 December 2014

❀ Having to spend her birthday alone, Jiho doesn't expect much of it, but suddenly someone comes along and promises to make her biggest birthday wish will one day come true OR the official start of Johnny and Jiho's friendship

“Happy birthday to me,” the girl sang. She was crouching in the corner of an empty room with two long birthday candles in her hands. “Happy birthday to me.” She pressed her eyes close as if she was preparing to make her wish already. “Happy birthday dear Jiho.

“Happy birthday to… pathetic me.”

Forgetting to make a wish, Jiho opened her eyes and blew out the candles. She set them down and wiped off the melted candle wax which accidentally burned her whilst she was holding the candles. It was dark in the room now that the candles were blown out, but Jiho still had enough vision to make out the tiny cupcake she had gotten from the bakery earlier on her way back from school.

The baker she had gotten in from had given her a sad smile when she handed her the cupcake. The old lady had asked her who’s birthday it was—since Jiho asked for candles she knew it must have been someone’s birthday—Jiho had answered with a simple “mine” before handing the lady the money she owed. At first, the baker wanted to refuse the girl’s money, but instead she handed her a cookie and called it a birthday present. It was the first and only present she had gotten that day.

“Hey, Lim Jiho,” she started talking to herself. “No need to feel sorry for yourself, you should be happy with your cupcake and free cookie.”

Taking a bite she quickly frowned at the overly sweet pastry and sighed once more. “Ahh… the cakes mémé makes are so much more tasty.” Pushing herself up from the floor, Jiho started collecting her things to leave, but as she fully stood up, a tall dark shadow engulfed her.

A little scared by the sudden presence, Jiho took a step back before looking up to find a friendly face smiling down at her. “W—What are you doing here?”

The tall person chuckled, finding the flustered state of the girl rather adorable. “I saw you here all alone and— I’m Johnny by the way. A friend of Doyoung.”

Jiho nodded. “I know who you are.”

“It’s your birthday? Are you celebrating it alone?” Jiho nodded once again in response. “Don’t you want to celebrate with friends?”

Jiho stuttered rather awkwardly. “I don’t really have any friends,” she confessed sheepishly. “But, it’s fine. Since my parents couldn’t come, I think I would rather celebrate alone.”

Johnny nodded, trying his hardest to hide the sad smile on his lips. “Hmm, I understand. Did you at least get a present? Or make a wish? I saw you blow out those candles.”

“You saw?” Jiho’s eyes widened, afraid that Johnny might have also heard her sing for herself. She would be so embarrassed if he did.

“Yes, but don’t worry no one else saw you. So did you make a wish?” Jiho shook her head from side to side. “Is there anything you want to have?”

Jiho thought about it for a while before answering, “once I’m old enough I want to get a car.”

“A car?”

“Yes, in my neighbourhood I learned to drive a car and a tractor. They said I was pretty good at it, but once I’m old enough I want to learn to drive properly immediately and buy a car!”

Johnny chuckled once Jiho started to sound less guarded and more freely excited. “You want to buy one, or get one as a present?”

“Well my dad doesn’t actually want me to drive at all. He thinks it’s too dangerous so he said I won’t be allowed to buy my own car. So I must wish that one day I’ll get a car as a present. But now… I forgot to wish for it this time.”

Johnny put a hand on Jiho’s head, patting her head adoringly. He noticed, though, that JiHo flinched a little at the sudden touch, so he quickly pulled his hand back. “Don’t worry, if you ever need a ride you can always ask me to drive you around,” Johnny offered.

“Really? You can drive?” Jiho’s eyes had widened twice in size causing Johnny to chuckle as he nodded.

“And once I get my own car and you have your licence and drive safely, I’ll allow you to use mine.”

“Really?” JiHo repeated and this time Johnny couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud at her excitement.

“Yes, really,” he assured. “Now you should probably head to your dorm, it’s getting late.”

Jiho nodded as she grabbed all her stuff. She was already heading out the room when she remembered something and stopped in her tracks. She turned around and pulled something out of the small paper bag she was holding. It took a few seconds for Johnny to make out what it was since the lights in the room were still off, but when he did a smile broke out on his face. “Here, this is for you.”

“Thank you.” Johnny took the cookie from Jiho’s hands. “Are you sure you don’t want to keep it to yourself?”

With a shake of Jiho’s head she answered, “it’s for you. It’s a token of your promise to let me use your car once I get my licence.”

With a playful smile Jiho ran out of the room, leaving Johnny speechless. “Wow…” Johnny chuckled to himself once he came back to his senses. “You really are an interesting character Jiho.”

---

masterlists: main masterlist || jiho.writings masterlist

[ambersgems]

Bonded - Epilogue - Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Soulmate AU where you can feel your soulmate's emotions. When you meet, usually their name appears on your wrist.

A/N: Finally here! So sorry this took SO long to get out. I've been kinda drained. Any feedback is appreciated! I also would love requests for anything Dean, Chris Evans characters, or Sebastian Stan characters! It can be blurbs, drabbles, or longer!

Word Count: 2.4K

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

P.S. I know that this is not in line with the timeline of the show, but for the purposes of this fic the boys already have the Bunker. 

8 months later.

Reader POV

Waking up was different now. You woke up every morning with at least one of Dean’s arms wrapped around you and there was usually a leg wrapped around you too. Today was no different. Your eyes opened lazily as you woke up in your usual spot, halfway on top of Dean with one of his arms around your back and his thigh in between the two of yours. Your head was always laid on his chest. You didn’t even know why you had your own pillow on the bed, you never used it. Dean never allowed you to.

His other arm moved up and brushed some hair out of your face, signaling that he was also awake, causing you to lift your head and look up at him. His bright green eyes were wide open, staring down at you with the same adoration he had every morning. 

If Dean was known for not being an early riser, you were notorious for it. You realized he had probably been awake for a little while now, but he didn’t want to wake you, so he had been holding you while you slept. It was things like this that made your heart clench in your chest, in a good way. 

“G’Morning, gorgeous,” you hear him murmur, his voice was husky and deep with sleep, causing your cheeks to burn.

“How long have you been up?” you ask shyly, biting your lip as your eyes slide over his face and down his chest, admiring the freckles that littered his body. They were everywhere and so uniquely him.

“‘Bout an hour, but I didn’t wanna wake you. S’beautiful when you sleep on my chest like this. Reminds me of a little baby, my little baby,” he says, a smile tugging at his lips. His fingertips slide up and down your back, before he leans his head up to give your forehead a kiss.

A smile breaks across your face. Dean was incredibly soft with you. He could be quite harsh with everyone else, but the moment you were in his presence he softened. It shocked the hell out of Sam the first time he had ever seen it. He was gnashing teeth and barking orders, but the second you came up to him, placing your small hand against his chest, he immediately calmed and apologized to you and was saying he hoped he hadn’t scared you. It threw Sam for a loop, but it became something he took note of, now knowing how to reign in his older brother when necessary.

You shake your head and giggle slightly at Dean’s affectionate words and stare, rolling your eyes playfully. “You should have woken me up. You don’t have to just lay here because I’m asleep,” you say sincerely, feeling a little guilty he had been up for so long.

“First of all, I don’t have to do anything. I think I have proved to you that no one makes me do anything I don’t want to do - and you know that I absolutely love spending any time with you alone that I can, even if you are just sleeping on me.” he states plainly, “Second of all, I would never wake up the birthday girl before she’s ready!” he adds with a huge grin spreading across his cheeks, causing the lines beside his eyes to form. You just knew one day those lines were going to become a more permanent feature on his face, and you loved it. It was just another thing that made him Dean.

Before you could protest, Dean was yelling loudly. “Sammy! She’s awake!”

Sam came bursting through the door, balloons in hand as well as a tray full of all of your favorite breakfast foods. 

“Happy Birthday, Y/N/N!” he cheered as he set the tray down on the foot of the bed.

You quickly sat up in the bed, your cheeks heated due to your lack of clothes. The only thing you were wearing was one of Dean’s old Led Zeppelin t-shirts. Thankfully, it fit more like a dress than anything. 

“Thank you so much. You didn’t have to go to all of this trouble,” you smiled at Sam gratefully. You honestly weren’t sure how your birthday was going to go this year. There were still a lot of things left to learn about the Winchesters, but Dean and Sam had already made you feel like you were family.

“Well, I’d love to take the credit, but this was all Dean. Dean always makes the Winchesters’ birthdays special, always made sure mine was special, too, growing up,” he says with a fond smile. 

Your eyes snap open, “You think I’m a Winchester?” you ask in shock, turning slightly to look between the two brothers.

“You think you’re not?” Dean asks, a frown forming on his face.

“Well, I don’t know. It’s not like we’re married or anything. It’s not like we can even get married, with you being wanted by the FBI and all,” you say with a shrug.

“Sweetheart, you’re my soulmate. My bonded soulmate. You are just as a part of this family as Sam or I am. You’re a Winchester as far as we’re concerned. Hell, if you want to change your name, nothing in the world would make me prouder than for you to have my last name. You haven’t been caught with us yet, you could simply change your name with no questions asked,” Dean rambles, his hand reaching out to grasp your own.

“Really?” You ask quietly, your heart racing in your chest, eyes darting back and forth between Dean and Sam, seeing both men nod their heads rapidly.

You leap forward, arms wrapping around Dean’s neck as you kiss his cheek. You giggle as he wraps his arms around you, sliding his hands up and down your back, pulling you to sit in his lap. 

Your giggles stop for a moment as you blink your eyes a couple of times, feeling a bit lightheaded. Dean can feel you getting weak almost instantly. Immediately he snaps into overprotective mode. 

“Y/N? Y/N what’s wrong, talk to me, baby,” he says urgently, concern evident in his voice. 

You shake your head, giving him another laugh. “Dean, calm down. Just got lightheaded for a second there. I’m fine.” 

“Are you sure? I could feel you getting weak,” he says, clearly not taking what you stated as truth. 

“I’m fine. Let’s just eat breakfast. I need coffee!” you say, bouncing in his lap with a smile, feeling his arms wrap tighter around you. You knew he was still feeling protective. You could literally feel the stress from him.

His serious face finally cracks and he lets a smile show, “alright, sweetheart, let’s have breakfast,” he relents. “But just know, my real breakfast starts when Sammy leaves,” he smirks.

“Oh, gross!”

—-----------------------

After breakfast, Dean’s second breakfast, and getting ready for the day (with a lot of Dean distractions in between), you had finally managed to make it to the library to read a bit. 

Ever since Dean had told you about the world that he was a part of, you had become fascinated with everything that had to do with lore. Dean liked to brag on you and say that his girl was a genius, but you knew he was just being silly. You were just hyper observant. Plus, it wasn’t all that hard to read him as your soulmate. 

You quite liked reading up on all of the mythology, though, and you had become very well acquainted with it all in such a short period of time. Sam claimed by the time you were 3 months in with them that you already knew just as much as he did, if not more. Your retention of information astounded both Dean and Sam. 

It still worried you to no end to let Dean go out on hunts. How could it not? Dean was literally one half of your soul, and you had to sit and wait at the bunker while he went to go fight the evil of the world. 

“He’s a lot more cautious now that he’s met you,” rang in your ears. It was one of the first things Sam said to you after you waited at the bunker for him to come home from his first hunt since you had met. Sometimes that rang in your head over and over again. You hoped that it was true. You don’t know how you’d survive without Dean.

You loved the library so much that Dean had a couch put in there especially for you to curl up on. He knew how much you liked to curl up with a blanket while you read, so he wanted you to be as comfortable as possible while you researched leads for one of their cases. Even though Dean had forbade you from ever going out into “the field” for cases, he allowed you to help with the research, so as long as you stayed in the bunker while he worked on a case. 

You curled up to your spot on the couch, pulling your fuzzy blanket up your legs and cracking open your book. Dean was taking his shower, since you denied allowing him to take his with you this morning, otherwise he would likely be sat behind you while you read your book.

You noticed that same lightheaded feeling again, as your eyes scanned over the pages. You shook your head, trying your best to have it go away. Suddenly a wave of nausea hit you, but you remained seated as you tried to steady yourself. You didn’t want to alert Dean. He was already so overprotective of you. You knew he would stress out if he thought you were even remotely sick. 

You could feel the weakness in your body. You really hoped that you weren’t coming down with something. This was the first time you’d actually ever enjoyed your birthday.

You heard the wet slaps of feet hitting the concrete floor coming down the hallway before you saw a soaking wet Dean with a towel loosely hanging on his hips. He rushed towards you on the couch, kneeling down beside you. His hands instinctively made their way to the sides of your face, holding your head up for you.

“It’s alright, sweetheart. I got you. I got you - I’m here, baby,” he whispers, looking into your weak eyes.

You couldn’t explain the way you were feeling. The nausea was overwhelming, and you felt so dizzy you thought you might pass out. At first, you thought it might be the bond, like what happened the first time, but this felt different. It didn’t feel as connected to Dean as before.

Before you could ask Dean what was happening, your eyes rolled into the back of your head and things went black.

—---------------------

Dean’s POV

He was in the middle of his shower, rinsing his hair as he felt it. Something was wrong. He could feel you getting sick, just like he had earlier. Something was off. You were weak this morning, weak right now. He knew you were about to get sick.

Quickly, he jumped out of the shower, grabbing a towel off the rack and wrapping it around his waist before taking off down the hall to the library. He didn’t care that he was soaking wet as he ran to find you. Panic was starting to settle into his veins as he felt you getting weaker.

As soon as he reached you he knelt down in front of you, placing his hands on the sides of your face. He knew he had to help keep your face up, as he could feel the strength leaving your body.

“It’s alright, sweetheart. I got you. I got you - I’m here, baby,” he whispers, looking into your weak eyes, knowing you were about to pass out.

He caught you as you fell, making sure to lay you down gently on the couch. 

“Oh, sweet girl, it’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay,” he whispered softly, knowing you couldn’t hear him.

He had started connecting dots over the past couple of days. You were different. You weren’t eating the same. Your sleep was off. He could feel how tired you were. He could feel the exhaustion. Now with the nausea, weakness, and passing out? Dean prided himself on knowing you and this was all coinciding with a date that he would never forget. 

—--------------------

He smiled down at you as he gently brushed your hair from your face, feeling you stir underneath his touch. 

“Are you back with me, sweetheart?” he asks you gently, watching you intently as your eyes slowly open.

“What happened?” he hears you ask him blearily, feeling your fear begin to spark.

His smile widens as his eyes take you in with adoration. 

“You remember second breakfast on Labor Day weekend, baby girl?” he asks with a smirk, pride swelling in his chest.

Your brows furrow, and he chuckles at the sight.

“Yes?” you reply, not understanding why he would reference something at a time like this.

“You also know how we told you you’re part of the Winchester family? And you ought to go and change your name?” he asks, smirking again at your confusion.

“Yes?” you respond again, still swimming in unknown thoughts.

“Well, sweetheart, we’re expanding that family by one more now, and you damn sure better be giving them our last name,” he grins, his smile crinkling at his eyes.

He could feel the love swelling in your chest and see both the shock and excitement on your face. He could hardly contain his own.

“You’re serious? We- we’re having a baby?” you ask, tears filling your eyes.

“Yes, we’re having a baby, baby!” he replies, placing a hand on your lower stomach. 

“We can go to change my name tomorrow,” you grin.

“I think it’s very fitting that we found out today, actually,” he says, his hand gently rubbing your stomach.

“Today, you’ve reached the Age of Choice. You’ve chosen to be with me, and now we’ve found out that the two of us have created the ultimate bond. A baby. One soul, that is quite literally half you and half me,” he announces, tears beginning to fill his own eyes. 

Your eyes light up as you place your hand on top of his, smiling as you say,

“Bonded. Forever.”

Tagged by Request: @imaginedreamwrite @suckitands33 @chase-porter @hobby27 @sarahgracej @deansbxtchboy @globetrotter28 @lindalouh

[notstilinski]

Highly Suspicious & Unfairly Cute Starters !

Taken from the 2023 novel by Talia Hibbert, Highly Suspicious & Unfairly Cute! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“If they turn up dead tomorrow, you’re boing to be arrested.”

“What is this betrayal?”

“Your grace and maturity continue to astound me.”

“You absolute living demon.”

“Is that how you speak to the greatest sibling of all time?”

“You don’t think I did this on purpose, do you? You know I didn’t. Right? (Name). Do you?”

“It’s shit, I know it’s shit, I realize we’re not friends or anything, but I didn’t mean… I didn’t want to hurt you. Of course I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Are you possessed? You are, aren’t you?”

“Has my room recently been declared public thoroughfare?”

“Maybe I’d be polite to you if I thought you were even physically capable of being polite back.”

“Do you enjoy pissing me off? Would you consider it, like, a hobby?”

“Tell me the last relationship you built. Quickly.”

“How can you justify all the things you said to them?”

“Be careful. Behave yourself. And stick with (Name).”

“Aw, (Name). You don’t have to beg.”

“Please stop saying that before I vomit all over these lovely pants.”

“What do you think I’m going to do, push you into a ditch?”

“Nothing. Just… I knew your quiet and polite routine couldn’t last.”

“I thought you liked it when I kept my mouth shut.”

“You were embarrassed of me. That was the problem. That makes you the bad guy.”

“One day they’ll find out how weird you really are, (Name). You know that, right?”

“The way I see it, we weren’t ever meant to be friends. Whatever we used to be was… accidental or circumstantial…”

“I can’t spend days at a time fighting with you, (Name).”

“Just… warm a person up first, would you?”

“If you went on much longer, I was just gonna push you until you laid down, then turn off the lights.”

“(Name) says a lot of things. They’re incurable positive.”

“Absolute trust leads to absolute heartbreak.”

“For legal reason, I can neither confirm nor deny.”

“I had no idea (Name)’s birthday was an issue of legal contention.”

“Newsflash, your entire family loves me. You’re the only one who needs to get with the program.”

“Cheer up. This is an experience. We’re living life on the edge.”

“Shut up. They’re cold.”

“I’m in turmoil. How could anyone eat at a time like this?”

“Fighting off bears in the woods must forge powerful bonds.”

“Nothing. Ineffectuality is your defining trait.”

“Don’t talk shit to them again. Leave them alone.”

“You’re avoiding a conversation about our friendship because you avoid your feelings.”

“I’m not like you. I really don’t have the whole emotional intelligence thing down.”

“I’ll stop being weird with you, and you stop examining the darkness in my soul, or whatever. Yeah?”

“Because it doesn’t matter. Even if neither of us did anything interesting in our entire lives, it wouldn’t matter.”

“You don’t need to be special or significant to have value. You’re just import, anyways, and people either see that or they don’t. They either love you, or they don’t.”

“Contrary to everything you just said, (Name), I know for a fact that you are very smart.”

“Are you telling me you’re not in love with (Name)?”

“But you know what I care about? Whether or not you’re happy with your bitter, vengeful choices. Are you? Happy?”

“Do you know what you just said to me? Or were you, like, in an emotional fugue state and you’re going to snap out of it and forget the entire thing?”

“You are so repressed.”

“No. When I pulled you on top of me and, you know, gazed dreamily into your eyes and said I liked you, I did not mean as friends. Obviously.”

“You shouldn’t be allowed to look at people like that when you’re interrogating them.”

“I’m not telling you not to have feelings. I’d never tell you what to do in your own head.”

“Is work the only thing people are supposed to dream about? I thought fantasies were supposed to be fun.”

“You’re not allowed to flirt with me while (Name) is in the building.”

“Do you know how annoying it is that intrusive thoughts come almost every time you want things to go well?”

“I shouldn’t feel like this. No one should be able to make me /feel/ like this.”

“Just kiss me. That’s all. What’s a little tongue between friends?”

“I spill my tortured forbidden guts and all you can say is it makes sense?”

“Buddy. We talked about this. Stop memorizing sad statistics.”

“I wish you’d trust me, (Name). I really, really do.”

“Why is your face doing that at this hour of the morning?”

“It’s my natural sunny disposition.”

“I’m not, like, helping you. Just glad I won’t be the only family disappointment.”

“Aren’t you angry at me? For… hiding it?”

“I know you wanted to end it, but I can’t just… suddenly change how I feel about you. I’m trying. All right?”

“The point is, I want to take the risk because I want you. And I trust you. And you’re worth it! Do you get that? You’re worth it to me.”

“(Name), are you sweating? What have I told you about bodily functions? Only in private.”

“Are you gonna propose when we go to McDonald’s later?”

[jokertrap-ran]

[うたプリライエモ] Uta no Prince-sama LIVE EMOTION 2024 Birthday Greetings Translation (Side: ST☆RISH)

*T/N: I did this on a whim but I did promise some utapri content, so.

Otoya: It’s finally the day! I’ve been waiting for this day to come!

Otoya: Because it’s your birthday, of course! And that’s why I’m gonna throw you the best celebration ever!

Otoya: But first, let’s start with this. Happy birthday! Love ya!

☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ☆

Masato: Today’s your birthday, right? I’m glad to be able to celebrate such an important day with you.

Masato: I’m sure everyone has already wished you a happy birthday, so I hope mine will be an unforgettable one.

Masato: Happy birthday. I hope I can help maintain that smile of yours forever.

☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ☆

Natsuki: Happy birthday! You’re shining remarkably brightly today. Or is it because I’m in a supremely good mood?

Natsuki: I wish to thank you for being born, and for meeting me.

Natsuki: I want to hold on tightly to this joy and continue watching you up close, closer than anyone else out there.

☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ☆

Tokiya: Today is a brilliant day, isn’t it? I suppose you can call it your one day of welcoming the new year.

Tokiya: Happy birthday. Since it’s such a special day, allow me to fulfill your wishes.

Tokiya: You can ask anything of me. There’s no need to hold back. Of course, if it’s something of the passionate nature…

☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ☆

Ren: Happy birthday. Even I get excited on such a special day.

Ren: I’m going to ask you out for a special date before this jig is up. Allow me to take you out for the day.

Ren: I’ve made lots of preparations for this day, so it’s safe to say that you can look forward to it. I think you’ll come to enjoy what I have planned.

☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ☆

Syo: Happy birthday! How about entrusting today’s schedule to me?

Syo: I’ll make it the best day of your life. Yeah, I swear I will! So… let’s spend today together, okay?

Syo: I’ve already made plans for us to do all the stuff you like, so… I’m just waiting for you to give me the green light.

☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ☆

Cecil: Of course, I have something to tell you when it’s your birthday. Will you hear me out?

Cecil: Kongristore! A word of congratulations filled with utmost love, reserved only for today.

Cecil: Let’s spend time alone together after this. It’s still not enough. I want to convey more of my feelings to you.